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Breaking the Cycle of People Pleasing: How Coaching Can Empower You to Prioritise Your Needs

Updated: Apr 1

Ever feel like you are spinning too many plates, trying to keep everyone happy? Never seem to get time for yourself, or feel guilty when you do? When you put others' opinions and approval before your own wellbeing, it may well be that you are a people pleaser.

People pleasing is a pattern of behaviour I often see in my coaching clients. So if this is you, don't panic, you are not alone! Coaching can help you to recognise this pattern, and start to adjust it, allowing you to prioritise yourself.

Here are 3 steps to start addressing your people pleasing behaviours...

Step 1 - Recognising that this is a pattern of behaviour is a great start! So where does it come from? Behaviour patterns are often reinforced over a number of years before you notice it, so think back, how long has this been going on? You might not be able to put your finger on the exact moment you started to do this, but it might start to give you an indication as to why this started, and what is driving it. What was happening at this point in your life?

Step 2 - Improving your self awareness to start identifying common themes when you see this behaviour most. Who was there? What was the situation? What did they say or do to compel you to put them first? This pattern might be a general response to everyone, or in very specific circumstances or involve just one person. Once you see the themes, you can start to tackle them.

Step 3 - Healthy boundaries with others is key to combatting your people pleasing tendencies, and starting to put your own needs first. Feeling comfortable to say no is a good place to start, without feeling guilty or worrying about what others might think. It might feel hard at first but you can learn how to do this! Start small, and build your confidence, what opportunities to say no can you see?

Breaking the cycle of people pleasing with support from a coach, will allow you to time to rediscover what you actually what to spend your time doing, empowering you to take bolder steps and shape your future.


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